Painful Reminders
by DDAriSieg
Summary: A mission goes horribly wrong, when a visit to college drags Murdock down to the darker sides of his insanity. Will the team be able to get him back up, or will they just further the damage?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:  
This was in answer to a kinkmeme prompt. It went something along the lines of "I want one of the boys to have been bullied, and the others to comfort him" ..I think. And being a victim of bullying myself, and in many ways sympathizing with Murdock, I wrote this. To me it is a somewhat personal piece in that sense, but since you guys don't really know me, I suppose ya'all couldn't care less xD**

**Warnings: Insanity, bullying, mental pain, embarassing oneself.. ^^" Also, my native language is Danish, so please do point it out if you stumble upon any jarring errors.**

**Pairings: I think it can be read as whatever pairing one might lean towards.. But generally friendship :)**

**Note: I was thinking movie-verse when I wrote this. It can be read as TV-verse, but then the characters might seem a bit OOC..^^"**

It was quite simple, actually. All he had to do was get inside the school, find Face, buy the right cookies, circle a few times, and then follow Face when he was done with his shift.

Murdock wasn't entirely sure what Hannibal hoped to archive by this, or what exactly it had to do with the case they were working on. What he did know was that someone had been selling drugs to the youngsters at this business college, and for some reason this had called for the a-team's assistance.

Murdock rarely bothered to get into the details of a plan. It wasn't that it didn't interest him, or that he wasn't bright enough to follow Hannibal's admittedly shrewd logic. He simply enjoyed the excitement of not knowing entirely what was about to happen. He didn't exactly expect to find his new near-death experience at a Christmas market in a college, but if anything, it might prove to be fun.

As it turned out, he was wrong.

One of the first things he noticed was how he stood out. His shaggy hair, Hawaiian shirt and striped baggy pants didn't do much to camouflage him amidst the smartly dressed youngsters and their rich parents. Now, to Murdock, standing out wasn't really a new thing.  
As a young child he had looked different because his mother and later grandparents didn't think he needed fancy clothing. Murdock wholeheartedly agreed with that, though that hadn't changed the opinion of his peers.  
In kindergarten it never truly mattered. He was still the bad-ass who'd do anything no matter how crazy it seemed, (though at other times he would completely shut himself in, not really caring to interact with the other children.)  
The caretakers had been slightly worried about this, naturally, but it wasn't 'till much later it turned out that this was all just part of his personal brand of crazy.

School had been a slightly different story, Murdock mused as he walked through the corridors of the college. He was intently staring at the ground.  
As he walked he sometimes looked up, idly wondering if the passing people could all see it in him. The bizarre face of insanity lurking behind his eyes. As his eyes quickly traveled from face to face, he could almost feel them cringe.  
Their eyes were speaking to him, at first there were no voices, but soon he could hear them, loudly over the general rustle of the market.  
*_Ha-ha! It's Howling Mad Murdock*  
*Did you hear? I heard he set fire to his own house?*  
*Murdock killed Billy! Murdock killed his mama..* _He didn't, really. He didn't kill either of them. He never meant for the fire to grow..  
*_Aw come one, he ain't some kinda psycho.. The guy's just fucking retarded!*_ All children's voices, except the last, which sounded remarkably like Stan from his high school class upon hearing he'd finally been diagnosed.  
*_So, Murdock.. How do ya think it's going? Hearing voices in the middle of a mission.. Someone forgot their medicine, much?*_

Murdock immediately stopped dead in his tracks when he realized the last voice belonged to Face. Face. That was it. He was here to find Face. He forced his breathing down to a minimum, and looked at his feet so as not to see the people's faces.  
He was growing more paranoid every second of not looking at them. He could hear them snickering, but he wasn't entirely sure if that was just his mind playing tricks with him. The creatures that surrounded him seemed to grow more and more intimidating, to the point where he was unsure if he'd ever dare look up to search for Face, let alone move from the spot.

Murdock desperately fought to find his usual persona. The one he'd developed throughout the years. The one that knew no shame, the one that even embraced the crazy, worked with it, played on it. The one in control of it.  
As he did so, he slowly started walking again. He heard a comment about his pants and heard someone laugh. He looked up to see faces all around him, and he really couldn't tell if they were looking at him with disgust or pity, but he knew it was better than venom, and he accepted status quo.

Murdock pulled himself together in a violent mental gesture. He had a mission. He had a reason to be here. He wasn't floating in limbo. He wasn't the local crazy guy crashing the children's party. Heck, he might even be the father of one of the kids here. (Perhaps not quite, but who expected rationality?) Why would he be scared of a bunch of kids? He was a customer here, all they cared about was his money.

The well-known feeling of someone temporarily taking over his mind was for once rather pleasant, and for a moment the scared child retreated to the lower depths of his psyche.

Murdock started walking again, perhaps a little too quickly, but with a clear purpose in mind. He just needed to find the Faceman.. He walked past stalls of different kinds, all offering some merchandized version of the Christmas spirit. Purposeful-Murdock didn't care much, though a childish part of him wanted to stop and examine the things further. He smelled pancakes, but it only served to make him want to throw up. A clear sign the paranoia had only temporarily left him.

To his relief, he soon found what he was looking for. Face was on the other side of the stall. On Murdock's side – the customer's side – was a young pretty woman. At least this was what Murdock deduced from Face's flirty tones and the slender legs and high heels he could see with his gaze still fixed downwards.  
When he was sure it was indeed Face, and not imaginary Face (Imaginary Face didn't quite have real Face's flirting talent), he finally looked up.

He intently watched Face's face, waiting for him to tear his gaze away from the woman and react to him being there. A part of him knew that Face was doing a con. That he was playing a role, and they weren't necessarily supposed to know each other -right now Murdock, for the life of him, wouldn't have been able to tell you what Hannibal had said about this. Usually he wouldn't care. Now, for some reason, it meant the world to him.  
Face had to acknowledge him. He needed to acknowledge him being there, him being his friend, confirming that he wasn't alone amidst these people. Desperation was starting to tear at his defenses, as the scared child emerged from somewhere within, and he didn't really realize he was grinning nervously before both Face and the woman's eyes were on him.

Their eyes only make him more nervous, and his laughter picks up it's pace, and it really has a life all of it's own, and Murdock is most sorry, and he really would like to stop, but the world is fucking crazy anyway – Though hey, who is he to judge?

Face was staring at him, eyes hard, accusing. He was ruining the con, blowing their cover like a damn fool. But the purpose had long since slipped his mind, and all he knew was how all faces were turned towards him. The voices were picking up again where they had left, but in his effort to choke the panicked giggling, he didn't have time to focus on them.  
"Sorry.. Faceman.." He heard himself say, and Face was staring harder, and Murdock knew he'd really done it now.  
But Face wasn't really looking at him anymore. And he seemed to be farther away. Had he moved? Why would he have done that? Face was turned towards the girl, and he was snickering. **Snickering.**  
"Yeah, I dunno why he'd call me that either.." Face said in answer to something the woman must've said. Though Murdock didn't recall her saying anything, just like he had no idea why he was suddenly backed further away from them.  
He wasn't grinning like a damn crazy fool anymore though, as BA so eloquently would've put it. He knew he had to get a grip. Now. This was just ridiculous. He'd been doing so great, he hadn't screwed anything up for a long while..  
That setting his feet in a school environment was all it took to crack reality for real – That was just pathetic.

Murdock was admittedly disturbed to find that he'd been talking while thinking, and even more disturbed to find that he was nowhere near Face anymore. People were looking at him with something just between pity and disgust, but he couldn't quite hear them for the louder voices that were filling his mind.

They might send for the police, he thought, and knew that he desperately needed to get away from there. So he ran, his legs taking him to the perhaps most common hiding place in any school in any country all over the world.

* * *

Face had been talking to a customer (admittedly, he'd been flirting), when Murdock finally showed up. He ignored him for two main reasons, one being that he was in the middle of a flirt with a lovely woman, the other that the plan wouldn't work out if it was too obvious that the two of them were working together.

As he spoke to the woman, he waited for Murdock to remember his purpose, and get on with it. He could feel his eyes on him, but refused to acknowledge his presence as he kept up appearances with the lady customer. But when Murdock actually started laughing, it was kind of hard **not** to look at him. Face caught his breath as he took in the sight of his best friend. He looked utterly distressed and out of place. He was giggling, yes, but not of happiness so much as in panic. His eyes were a little too bright for comfort.

Face inwardly panicked slightly, more worried for his friend than for the plan. That being said he was a professional, and he knew that if he fell out of character at this moment it might not only ruin Hannibal's plan: It could endanger them both.

He needed to keep a cool head, but it was admittedly difficult with his friend slowly falling apart in front of him. He honestly had no idea what would have triggered such a reaction, and it was more than a little unsettling to him.

"Excuse me, sir.. Is there anything I can help you with?" Face asked politely, though he hoped his eyes conveyed the more relevant message:

_*Fuck - you okay, man?_*

Murdock didn't react in the slightest, his mania just seemed to increase, though he was giggling less and hyperventilating more – Face wasn't entirely sure if that was a good thing. He couldn't help staring at him, unable to look away from those panicked, pleading eyes.

"Sorry..Faceman.." Murdock's voice was slightly choked, and Face grew cold. If he was far enough gone to give away his 'name', things didn't look too good. He still kept up appearances though, looking both surprised and amused as he looked back to the woman.

She looked at him as well, a look of..was that amusement too?..on her face. Suddenly she didn't seem all that attractive anymore.

"Wow, this guy is far gone.." she said, apparently unable to grasp the gravity of the situation. This was Murdock. Not just some.. random crazy person. Though Face was pretty sure he wouldn't be quite that unaffected even if he hadn't known the person in question.

He'd seen enough of life to realize that this world offered plenty of valid reasons to go mad.

Murdock's hands were in his hair, tugging at it, his eyes wild with panic. He was backing away, rambling nonsensically (or perhaps in Swahili or some other godforsaken language?). Face could feel his own panic as well, as conflicting forces pulled him towards either his distressed friend or his duties on the case.

The latter won, as he knew it had to. Face forcefully found the flirting, vain Lynch character he'd entered as. And his attention went to the woman again. She was grinning, and Face really wanted to slap her, but instead he grinned back, even when she asked him what was up with him calling him Faceman.

"Yeah, I dunno why he'd call me that either.." Face answered, acutely aware of her reaction. He wasn't entirely sure who had a connection to the dealer, or even who it was. That was what they were here to find out.

There was a moment of recognition in Murdock, then he was gone again, rambling on. He sounded awfully lot like a child, and Face could only watch as he slowly walked away, seemingly unaware of his surroundings. Once he was out of sight Face directed his attention to the woman and continued his quest for intel while at the same time wondering what to do about Murdock and Hannibal's plan.

It took him a while to get rid of the woman, but once she was gone, he charmed someone to take his place for at short while. A moment later he was in the hallway, alone. Picking up his phone he dialed Hannibal's number. (The one number he never had use the address book for)

"Hannibal? This is Face. We have a problem.."

**/End notes:**

_So this was just the beginning. I have a one more chapter already written, but figured I'd publish it a little later so I'll hopefully have time to continue (And avoid anyone having to wait for too long)_

_I hope they didn't seem to ooc for anyone. __As for Murdock, he is indeed a bit ooc, but then again, he is out of his depth, and since I am of the believe that atleast movie-Murdock definitely have some (major) psychological issues, I don't think it's too far-fetched. (High-functioning indeed, but "crazy" none the less.)_

_If you have the time I'd love a review, it really makes my day^^" (Sorry, yeah, I'm a sad and vain little person. Don't judge me!)_


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: **_I apologize for the long wait. Being the fool I am, I kind of forgot about this fic D: I still have a bit more that this, but I'm not sure if I'm happy with the direction I was taking this, hence this somewhat short chapter. If I fail at updating, do feel free to remind me, I have a very flimsy mind._

_I don't own the A-team, they're their own bosses now. ;)_

"Hannibal? This is Face. We have a problem."

There was silence on the line for a moment, then Hannibal's slightly husky voice could be heard.

"Face? What's going on?"

"Uhm.. I do wish I could tell you.. " Face sighed.

" It's Murdock."

"Yes?" Hannibal sounded slightly impatient. Face hated moments like this. Knowing his boss, he was likely going to beat himself up for not having anticipated this. But this was a bit beyond what Face could easily cover up, so he forced himself to continue:

"Yeah, well, he seemed a bit out of himself and left before we had a chance to.." Footsteps were heard in the hallway, and Face immediately shut up.

"Before what? And how out of himself..? Talk to me, kid!" Face wasn't one to believe in authority per say, but if someone earned his respect they did have it.

All members of the team had owned the lieutenant's respect one way or another – But Hannibal was the one he truly looked to for guidance. He rarely questioned his orders, at least not in the long run. So it was with some willpower he didn't answer immediately. A man was escorting a woman down the hallway, past him.

"Ha, yeah, I heard about that! Did she really..?" Hannibal seemed to get it now, and for a moment they chatted mindlessly.

As they chatted, Face searched for a more deserted area. He continued down the hallway. When he was sure he was alone he continued in a suddenly serious tone:

"Before we could check their reactions, well, before he even made a move, to be truthful.."

" So no intel?"

"Uhm.. That's not all."

There was only silence on the line, but Face understood the question without even seeing his commander's eyes.

"Yeah.. No Murdock either.."

"What? You lost Murdock?" Face could hear BA exclaiming something in the background, though it was unclear what.

"Well, it's not like I did anything wrong!" Face said, defensively.

"He ran off, and I couldn't have gone after him without blowing our cover!" There was a small sound, as if Hannibal had been about to say something but stopped himself. Then Face heard a deep sigh.

"Look, no one's blaming you, kid. Just tell me.. How was he out of himself, and when did you last see him?" His voice was matter-of-factly, but Face could sense the slight distress hidden in his tone of voice.

Face pulled himself together almost immediately. Setting aside emotional distress was one of his more well-developed skills, and now was hardly the time for wallowing in self-pity anyhow.

"Well, he was just generally beside himself, ya know.. Mania, panic..? Look, I'm not a doctor! And I don't know. Maybe fifteen minutes ago?"

"And you didn't think to tell me that we had a man missing before now?!" Hannibal was using his 'I'm-your-commanding-officer-and-you've-failed-me" voice, but Face knew him well enough to know that he was just trying to cover up his concern for their –at times- slightly off the kilter teammate. That didn't stop Face from being slightly pissed off by his attitude, though.

"I was trying hard not to ruin the job that **you **assigned me, colonel!." He had prioritized as he'd expected Hannibal to want him to..

As they spoke, Face's legs took him further down the hallway towards a remote toilet. He immediately headed towards it, rationalizing that it was likely to be deserted so he could discuss in peace.

"Face, this is the last time I say this: No one blames you for anything. The case is dismissed for now, we'll find another way. Just find Murdock.." Face had reached the door to the toilet, when he heard BA in the background, closer this time.

"Well, while y'all figure out your guilt-complexes, I'll make myself useful 'n call that crazy fool.." Face grabbed for the door, and was about to answer when he heard the Doctor Who theme song echoing loudly from the toilet. It didn't go on for long, before it was cut off.

"Hey, he hung up on me!" BA exclaimed somewhere in the background. Face slowly entered the dark toilet. The sensors caught his movement, and the lights turned on. The door to one of the stalls was locked.

Face sighed.

"Never mind. I found him."

Then he hung up.

_Hope you enjoyed! Review and I'll be forever thankful :)_


	3. Chapter 3

_Dear goodness.. I apologize for the long wait. I've just been really busy..^^" I hope you enjoy this short chapter XD_

Face slipped his phone into his pocket, and cautiously stepped closer to the locked toilet door.  
"Murdock?" He asked, desperately trying to sound cheerful as if nothing was the matter.  
"That you in there?" He took a step closer, more or less expecting some weird reaction of some sort. This was Murdock after all. Nothing happened, though, and the door remained locked.

"Look, HM, it's just me, Face.." But silence greeted him again. Irritation was fighting a losing battle with concern inside Face, until the irritation finally crumbled to the back of his mind. Now wasn't the time to snap at his friend.

Face sighed, and sat down on the other side of the door behind which he'd heard the cellphone. For once, he didn't care much about his pants getting dirty.  
"Y'know, buddy.. Your cellphone already gave you away, so I know you're in there.." Face tried. He could hear someone shifting position.  
"Aww, Faceman.. That ain't fair.." Face grinned silently to himself.. Even though his friend's voice was a bit strained, he sounded like himself.  
"Yeah, well, sorry mate. So.. How're ya feeling?" There was silence again, but this time Face kept quiet, waiting for his teammate's response.  
"..I'm fine, fine. Fine and dandy like a rose on a summerday." Face frowned. The metaphor was a bit off, but still not nearly creative enough to be classic Murdockian. He didn't really believe him either, but decided to play along.  
"Well, that's great then! Should we get on with our job then..?"

"...No?" came the slightly questioning answer from Murdock. Face's impulse was to laugh, but he quickly surpressed it.  
"Why?"  
"I.. am fine. Now, here. Because I'm in here, not out there," came the answer. Face was surprised at the honesty. It only made him more desperate to open the door and comfort him.  
"Oh I see. But.. you are fine **right** now?" Face's tone was serious, he needed an honest answer.  
"More.. or less. Maybe.. If you just leave a little while and come back, I'll be better?" Murdock answered. There was an insecure quality to his voice which seemed rather uncommon. Whatever nonsense their Captain might babble, he always seemed confident in his own words and suggestions. Face sighed.  
"Murdock, I can't do that." He said firmly.  
"Because of the mission?" Murdock sounded hurt, and Face felt like banging his head against the door.  
"No, damnit. Because I don't want to leave you alone out here!"  
"But - "  
"No buts, the mission is cancelled, Boss says to just get out of here."  
"But I don't **wanna** get out of here..!" Murdock sounded mock-defiant, but Face had known him long enough to trace the hints of panic in his tone.

Face was indeed a con-man, and most of the time the power of words were his to be used or misused. But he was also a man of action whenever he felt the need to be, and this was such a time.

With this in his mind he got to his feet. He looked up, and as expected it was a typical school-toilet with open space from above the door and all the way to the ceiling.  
"Sorry buddy, but you have to. I'll give you a choice. Either you open the door, or I climb over it to come get you." When there was no answer, Face prepared to climb. He could almost reach the top of the door, but in order to get all the way, he jumped. He grabbed unto the door, and started kicking at the door with his legs to push himself the rest of the way.  
Soon he hung on top of the door, looking down at Murdock. Rather than sitting on the toilet as Face had expected, he was sitting on the floor. Right now he was pressed hard against the wall, staring at Face with wide panicked eyes.

It was around this time, Face realized he might've taken the wrong course of action.

**Author's note: Sorry, this is really short. The next chapter should be up pretty soon though..:P Review? :3**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's note: This might seem a bit weird, seeing as I'm not a fan of flashbacks. In this case I believe Murdock is in fact having a clinical flashback though, so I'll forgive myself..x3**

**Please enjoy **

_He hadn't done nothing wrong, he knew this, so the attack came as a surprise. _

_He'd kept quiet, almost managing not to hum too much during classes. He'd sat quietly with his books, and barely flinched when they'd talked to him. He didn't throw books at anyone, and he said nothing during class – even when the answer was so obvious he felt like crying at his classmate's stupidity._

When they had finally got an answer out of him, he'd been careful to imitate the accent of the one asking the question, rather than saying it in his usual southern drawl.

It hadn't had the intended reaction at all –though- and since then things just kind of seemed to have been spiraling down the drain with a speed so intimidating Murdock dared not look. (He usually did anyway)

_The sounds seemed enhanced, the laughter and the footsteps were filling his mind, and unable to recognize the volume, he didn't notice they were out there before it was too late to make his escape._

He sort of clung to the toilet, feeling as if the cold porcelain might suddenly decide to stand up and fight for him. But predictability won as always, and the toilet stayed in place as the laughter and talking moved closer. Suddenly he was hyper-aware of the change of volume that indicated them getting closer. When he heard a sharp knock on the door behind which he was hiding, he abandoned ship, and let go of the toilet in favor of pressing himself against the wall.  
"Haawdy, maate," the bad imitation of his own accent drifted through thick layers of fear, and someone answered in perfect British "_**How-do-you-do**__"._

_It took a moment before he realized that it was himself. He almost giggled, because in a way, that __**was**__ hysterical._

Then the poor door was attacked, it winced and almost cried out as the brutes kicked it and yelled at him to come out of there. He knew from experience that the toilet was far from safe. He knew it was the first place anyone would look.  
Yet he always ended here, beside his cold porcelain friend, who never did stand up for him. Well, not like he ever protected it from all the shit that was thrown at it either.  
In a sense, they were even.

There was a new shadow now, and he looked up to see David there, and for a moment he wondered if that would make him Goliath, and if he should perhaps take the toiletbrush and make short process with David's grease-slick hair. Reality hit him a bit harshly, when the guy was in, and others soon joined him, and he doesn't -didn't- know who laughed the hardest(himself?) or who hit first(Definitely not him), and he didn't much care, because it still meant he had some serious explaining to do when he made it home….

"**Murdock!" **The voice seemed strangely panicked, and it didn't at all sound like David, but frankly, Murdock was too caught up in his memory to take much notice of it. He took a hold of the brute, pinning him against the still locked door (Why hadn't he locked it up? Where were the others?)—

"**Murdock! For fuck's sake, it's ME!" **Murdock finally stopped for a moment, and focused on his attacker. The realization hit him with a force as if he'd just crashed into a brickwall with his chopper.

He stared at Face for a long moment, then let out something close to a wail, and crumbled in on himself.

_Author's note: Reviews make me happy and I'm a pretty sad fellow.. Hint hint hint..XD_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author's note:**_

_I'd like to thank you guys for all the wonderful reviews.. Each and every one of them really made me a very happy girl! Some have pointed out errors, as I asked you to – But seeing as I haven't quite figured out how to edit chapters, I haven't been able to fix them D: _

_Anyway.. Enjoy! __ (I was gonna end this chapter on a cliffhanger, but considering my terrible update rate that would just have been mean. So I stopped here!)_

Face looked on as his friend went from wild, trapped beast-mode to something that could only be described as … There really was no words to describe, and Face could only look on in horror as Murdock shrank back from him, stumbled into the furthest corner of the booth, all the while making some sound in-between a sob and a cry of pain.

But it was his expression that really got to him; The panic was still evident, but on top of it was this horrifying manic grin again, even as tears spilled from his eyes. As if his face had become an absurd study in opposites; his eyes shone too brightly, but were at the same time too dull – And how was it that he looked like he was grinning, when so clearly he was crying –

Face didn't get to contemplate this any further – Suddenly Murdock was on his knees, beside the toilet, emptying his stomach. Face too, felt like puking – Not so much from the smell, much as he hated it, but from the sheer unreal quality of this whole situation.

Instead he turned away, and quickly unlocked the door. He let it slowly open, and was struck by the memory of hiding out in a toilet when he was younger; it really was a tasteless place to go. But there was a certain purpose and character to a room made especially for shitting in – And Face felt that there might be some poetry there – But there would be time to pursue that later. Maybe he and Murdock could make a silly song about the virtues of toilets, and drive both Hannibal and BA crazy.

He looked down at Murdock who had stopped dry-heaving a little time ago, and thought that maybe he'd wait a little while with that particular song.

Murdock sat quietly for a while, and Face said nothing: Apparently he wasn't all that great at taking the right initiative – This time he would wait for Murdock to tell him they were good to go before doing ANYTHING.

Time passed, and Face forced himself not to hold his breath as he waited for some kind of sign. Then, finally, Murdock spat into the toilet, and got to his feet, looking towards Face. Face automatically took a step back, and a look of hurt flashed through his friend's eyes. His face was ashen grey, and he seemed unstable on his feet as if he really were just physically ill – and maybe he was – Face wasn't sure how to categorize this.

"Sorry," murmured the pilot sheepishly, and Face wasn't sure if he was sorry about messing up the mission, attacking him, or subjecting him to the undoubtedly unpleasant smell of puke.

"No worries," said Face quickly, not caring what exactly his friend felt sorry for. They both flashed a smile at that, equally false, though Face did a much better job faking his.

Face stepped aside, and Murdock passed him and went to the sink. Here he started cleaning his mouth with water, and again Face looked on in silence, feeling awkward and out of place.

He wasn't entirely sure what to make of this, or what this even was. Face knew Murdock wasn't exactly your average mind. Hell, he was Howling Mad for a reason, right? He also knew that the man was a bit of a genius, spoke more languages than Face cared to remember; was one of the best damn pilots –hell, THE damn best pilot – he'd ever flown with. He knew that the man had little to no impulse control, an overactive imagination and.. well: He supposed there was a reason they'd met him at a psychiatric ward the first time around. People weren't just placed there on a whim. Face HAD been worried.

He knew all these things. He even knew how sometimes the ever-active man would suddenly go quiet – How sometimes he seemed to freeze even in the warmth of the sun. He had seen him flinch on occasion – seen the lost look in his eyes.

But Face was no stranger to hurt, and neither were the rest of the team. He'd be damned if he said he never felt lost, out of place, or just good-old-fashioned scared. Hell, even Hannibal would sometimes get this haunted look that Face had no idea how to make better – And B.A.. Well, the man still couldn't get in a flying vehicle without sedatives!

But they were men. They didn't.. talk about their feelings. They never explained themselves. A pat on the back, an understanding look (even when you understood nothing) – Leaving each other alone, when one wished to be alone (Even if one didn't REALLY want to be alone)..

But this.. Face looked at Murdock in the mirror. He had straightened up, and was looking at Face through the mirror with a shaky half-smile that didn't even begin to reach his eyes .

This.. Face wasn't so sure if he could let this one go. If he SHOULD let this one go.

_So…. I hope you enjoyed. I know these are pretty short chapters, but I'll rather post when I have written something, than sit on long drafts until I myself grow sick of them, and decide never to post._

_Review if you have the time, it really means a lot to me!_

_-Ari_


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